From John Konrad:
Fact: Bribery is rampant in the U.S. government and military—but it’s also legal.
To understand what’s going on at USAID you must understand how bribery works in America today.
Here’s how to legally bribe a 4-star US Army General:
American bribery operates differently than the classic cash-in-a-suitcase (or bitcoin today!) model still used in most other countries. It relies on trust, time, and reputation—making it nearly impossible to prosecute.
Example 1: Bribing a General in Africa
A corrupt general in Africa demands $2 million cash (or gold or BYT) up front. Why? Because if you don’t pay later, he has no way to enforce the deal.
Example 2: Bribing a U.S. General (Legally)
If you’re a defense contractor in the U.S., you play the long game:
1.Invite the general into a secure, private meeting.
2.Thank him for his “dedicated support” on a project “for the American people.”
3.Wink.
4.Casually mention that a board seat might open up at your company—about five years after he retires.
5.Tell him to call you in ten years to “help find good candidates.”
Fast forward five years: Boom. He lands that board seat. It pays $500,000 per year for five years. Congratulations—he just pocketed $2.5 million, plus interest.
The Board Seat Shuffle
This gets even better. Say Widgets Inc. lands a huge contract thanks to General Smith, and Cogs Inc. gets another big deal thanks to Admiral Jones.
Instead of directly paying them off, Widgets Inc. gives a cushy board seat to Admiral Jones. Cogs Inc. returns the favor by hiring General Smith.
No money exchanged while they were in uniform. No laws broken.
The Enforcement Mechanism: Reputation
But what if Cogs Inc. fails to pay Admiral Jones?
Simple: Reputation kills them.
Word spreads fast in the high-trust world of defense contracting. Generals and admirals still in uniform hear the whispers. Suddenly, Cogs Inc. starts losing contracts.
Example 3: USAID
Want to bribe a Congressman? Here’s how the game works. First, get them to steer a juicy contract your way. Take some of that money and set up a nonprofit—nothing flashy, just enough to move funds around. A few years after they’re voted out, suddenly there’s a cushy board seat waiting for them. In the meantime, have them use their connections to secure a USAID grant for the next wave of Congressmen or staffers. Rinse and repeat to expand the ponzi scheme and just like that, you’ve built a self-sustaining influence machine.
The lesson?
The bribe is exactly the same as a cash payoff—it’s just delayed, sanitized, and hidden behind a veil of “corporate best practices.”
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how government bribery legally thrives in America.
If this goes viral I might post 2/2 an even more ingenious bribery system: How China Bribes A Foreign General